Updated: Feb 29, 2020
When I look at the suffering I created in my life, the answer is YES! I was born into a family that described me as “sickly.” I soon discovered that being sick was an excellent way to get the attention and love I desperately wanted and needed. Raised in an abusive environment, I unconsciously discovered it was better to be sent to bed, rather than potentially harangued by my mother or beaten by my father.
Plagued with a multitude of chronic illnesses throughout my life, I saw that I chose a life filled with great physical, mental and emotional pain, and suffering. You could say this was just part of my lot in life. In fact, I chose to look at it this way for many years. But did I really have nothing to do with the reality that I found myself encased in? Of course, I did! I eventually came to the rude awakening that I was, indeed, creating this reality of prolonged suffering. On closer examination, this was evidenced in all facets of my life, in one form or another.
So I asked myself why I, or anyone else, would choose to learn about self-acceptance, compassion and unconditional love through pain and suffering when we knew there was another way that didn’t involve suffering? The answer came that the drama created by the pain and suffering and conversely, the temporary euphoria created by a time of reprieve, had created an addiction to suffering. The suffering itself was a negative habit I had acquired in seeking love, albeit indirectly. But why, you might ask? Feeling my cries for help weren’t being heard and not understanding the suffering, I felt abandoned by God and, consequently, unworthy of creating or receiving something better.
When we’ve been programmed with viral belief systems at an early age, it can be difficult to unearth them and even if we do, it can be unnerving to change familiar patterns of behavior. If and when we do realize we’re addicted to suffering, are we then going to continue our suffering for having suffered it? Can we allow ourselves to achieve happiness, prosperity, health, longevity, or any desire we might have, without suffering for it? Or must we continue to suffer for our accomplishments and success? It takes great courage to face our demons, a willingness to change, no matter the consequence, and the faith and trust to know we are supported and protected in our striving to become aware and conscious beings.
The question is, can humanity free itself from millenniums of personal and collective mass suffering? Yes, we can! When we truly understand that we are made in the image and likeness of Mother Sophia, Father, God (or whatever name you choose to call Source) and claim our Sovereign Divine birthright, we can rise above it ALL. I’m talking about a spiritual revolution where we embrace our innocence, vulnerability, and magnificence to stand in our power, taking full responsibility for our lives and our creations.